what card are you?

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

TiRed!

Tired!!

Now at work. Feeling so tired. Must be not enough rest. Later after work still meeting WW and Karlyn... Well, quite long never meet them le...

Okay, after a long weekend, my mood has somewhat change better. The frustration has subsided. It was a great weekend. Lotsa laughters and quite fun too. My life is Majiong, majiong and majiong... Wahaha~

It's either I'm sitting there playing Majiong, or I'm sleeping with Majiong as my background music. Haha =D Crazzzzyyy

And sleeping wise is worse. I'm deeply sorry guys... aiai.... I know my violency when I'm sleeping.. In case I molest or punch any of you, I'm sorry! =PP

But now weekend end, and it's back to work. Can't help but have a sense of lost and boreness.

I'm trying hard to make things work, but seems like my heart is at somewhere else. Shit. I really have to get back on track.

Looking forward to my Girls outing tomorrow evening with Crystal and Aiai =) Looking forward to the fun that's coming!

Now who's the Bitch?

Wow, I just found out some things.

Some people just got nothing to do except to say other people, comment on other people. I Just sick and tired of people who think they are so right and just like to blow up everything.

In case some people dunno what is a blog, a blog is a place for a person to write their thoughts, and what happens to them for their friend. If you are not my friend pls fuck off. . I never even give my add to some people. Just dun understand why some people think everything is their business, even other people r/s.

Even if you want comment, fine with me. But come to my face and say. Have some guts. Since by going around creating nonsense, its already making everything blow up uncessary. At least say to my face if you so much wan say. Cos who knows if you are not just creating some story in your petty little head, and things are not even the way you imagine it to me?

I'm not fake. But I dun mind if some stupid wan say me. Those who know me will know what kind of person I'm. Even my boy knows all my thoughts and he understands.

For people who read my blog, pls if you cant understand english well, go read it again how many times u wan. I am happy for the person who is important if they can be happily with the one they love. That person should know how much I have try to help and help for him. All the efforts I make for their sake?

Only a "xiao ren" will think other people are so evil.

I'm not a easily step over person. I just din want to be yi ban jian shi with some person. But DUN PUSH ME. . If you wan see a lion get mad, you can try.

My Guy!

Honestly sometimes I dunno what to think of my "ben dan". Recently after we patched, he has been rather nice except for one stupid evening when he did make me angry again. The rest of these while, I felt quite happy. But all of a sudden I had this nagging thought again.

Some people told me he is really good to me, but some people told me can't understand why I fall for him. I know, I know, some of you here are gonna say that relationship is mine, not others.

But I just can't help thinking alot alot when I heard that kind of negative things. Is it because somewhere in my mind I was thinking he is not good enough?

I really dunno -__- It's so confusing! My own feelings! Sometimes I feel like my mind is going in a twirl, spinning round and round. Just too many things recently! One moment is damn angry mode, then the next is damn happy mode. Wow, damn it, really. As though I'm air-con, keep changing temperature=( And not everything about my boy, some other things make my blood boil too.

Am I being unfair if just because of something people say I think in this way?

Now, if my besties are all reading this, I hope someone tells me the answer. Is Jian Feng a good guy? Worth my time and love?

And now, my stomach is grumbling b'cos they just reach Ochard. But well, at least I'm happy to get to meet all of my friends tonight. I so enjoy this feeling of friendship and bond we all have! Just one thought though, I hope this can last! Hahaha... =pp

Dishearten

Funny how life is.

Things just can't be perfect. Just when I thought I could be happy, I realised maybe I was just a fool.

We were not meant to be. But I keep wishing things can change. I keep thinking our love is worth it. Keep thinking he loves me.

I really make effort. He also said he did. And we both say we love each other alot. If all these is true then what is the problem? Why we just can't be happy?

I can't bring myself to put it down. Can't say it out and a part of me really don't want to end it. But yet I don't feel "xin fu".

Not that I want to compare. But I still can remember my last relationship. We also quarrelled a lot. But now I think back, I was so "xin fu". Even crying and arrguing is worth it.

But now? I don't know. But maybe it's not up to me to decide, cos' I can't. I know if I say break, I will look back when I alone and I feel I have no one there for me. I don't want that. But if I make him say it, it will break my heart. I don't know if I can take it.

Maybe one mistake really can change a person's life. Maybe I should just let my heart be broken, and just endure the pain. Anyway, I have been so painful once before too.

I also don't know how to really be happy like before. God help me.

ChiwaWa!

Yesterday after work went to meet Ken, Nun Jun, Crystal, Jun Xiong, Huili, Abel, Yuan Da, Charmine... but b'cos something happened to my colleague so I accompany her first... by the time I reached they bout to finish eating le... well, I told them to not wait actually... haha =)

Then we went to watch Chiwawa. But not all of us went... only Ken, NJ, Crystal, JX, Me and Jian feng.

Lucky we still managed to get the tickets for 9 plus show at Cineleisure... if not I think we won't be watching at all... lol..

It's a very nice show... haha... all of us was laughing so hard... well, I hope Mr K.. also la... cos' not really a show he wanna watch... But it turned out to be really nice right? hehe...

The chiwawa is really a princess lo... so "xin fu"... all branded stuff, and all the beauty treatments... even food also is high class one... haha... I was telling them yesterday... it's a dog's life and it's better than mine... haha...

But even a princess dog also has to go through hardships... and although there are always heros to the rescue... it's better to become strong itself... =D Just like me...

Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger! Still a princess though... LoL...

Later gonna end work lo... time flies recently... even working time... haha... maybe cos got Cydnia... haha... end work le go meet the guys and play bball... hopefully... wanna slim down!!

++PrincessRon++

Love U all~~

Friends~~

What a busy weekend!

I had a long weekend, cos was on Mcs for Mon and Tues. On Sunday night, went to Nun Jun sister's birthday bbq with Ken, Nun Jun, Huili, Rofino and Jian Feng. Well, was relaxing. Then after that they went to find Abel to 'sabo' him for his birthday, wherelse Nun jun, Jian Feng and me went to meet Crystal.

We spend one whole night talking at Amk MacDonalds. Haha... It was very fun just sitting there and talking about everything. We laughed and talked till we don't want go home, but the next day is Mon and Crystal and me got work. In the end we went to Nun Jun house ton and chat furthermore. Ken also at Nun Jun house but he was asleep when we reach there.

Next day all of us went to take Mcs together. Same clinic somemore. Lol =P but sadly Crystal has to go work cannot take mc like us.

We were crazy that day! Went to play basketball when we are so tired, and only got Huili, Ken, Nun Jun and me only! Hahaha... funny thing is got one group of little kids come and challenge us full court, and we actually played 2 games with them... Of cos we won lahz... haha... only 4 of us wor...

That's not all... At night still went to sing KTV at the 10dollars place. Wow.. We got the VIP room... It was huge! like a living room like that...

We also alot of people la( Huili, Ken, Nun Jun, Crystal, Applw, William, Yuan Da, Charmine, Abel and me), that's why they gave us such a big room... Even Bear also came! haha... Only Rofi didn't join =(

All in all, it was a nice day! I went home super tired though. Haha.

I can't Forget (part 2)

Still can't forget you

You have never left

I kidded myself, saying

we're only friends.

My tears finally flow

No more excuses can I give

It's more than guilt

a mixture of all feelings.

I have no right

and I never intend to fight

for I threw it away once ago

now I just want you happy

But when we talk and what we say

I can't control, no more

I'm going to suffocate

no place for the real

Your biggest regret, you said

was letting her go

Little do you know, that mine

was not holding you tight

When I cried, you don't even know

in your mind, I am not there

I wish you happiness

but I cant help feeling hurt.

Have to forget you, I do

Stop the feeling which I can't describe

Forget the past

start anew,

I try.

Nice right, this poem? I love it. Sigh...

Don't ask me why all these...

I can't Forget

Alright... we did not break up.

I really thought it was that way and I was so prepared to try my singlehood once again... =D haha... He(together with Crystal n Jun Xiong) gave me a surprise yesterday evening. I was with my colleague, Cyndia, at Cafe Cartell waiting for Crystal cos' we arranged to meet up after my work. Me and Cyndia talk bout' many things... It was enjoyable talking to a female Leo again... haha...

Anyway Crystal and Jun Xiong reached 1 hr later!! Then they suggested to sit outside instead. I find it weird cos it was raining slightly, but I just put it that Crystal might want to smoke. We sat outside and very funny, we didn't order anything else except my that glass of Blue Coral. But I thought maybe we were waiting for Yuan Da cos' he's joining us too.

Suddenly someone hugged me from the back, and give me a Bikini Pig. -_-!!

Who else but Jian Feng.... He appolgised to me but I give him one face and make it hard for him... Haha... purposely... Then the rest(Cyndia, Yuan Da, Jun xiong and Crystal) were all telling him what to say to make me laugh... It's so funny... Like those Tv shows like that... When he finally managed to make me smile everyone clapped...

Okie... I was still a bit mad at him... But it was sweet for him to do that... And that Piggy is so damn cute!! I really like it =) hugged it to sleep last night... just imagine a pig wear bikini? wahaha!!

Then we went eat parklane wanton wee, nothing much. But what I remember is we got struck with the rain and cannot leave. Haha. Well, overall a happy evening. Everyone was happy.

Crystal even text me a sweet sms at night. Heh... same to you, girl.

Too bad no photos man....

It's Over

Recently I must be down on my luck...

Me and Jian Feng is over. I don't know how to say what happened. But it's over. If he doesn't care for me or the relationship, then I will not care from now on.

The past is full of sweet and bitter. I have shed so much tears. I will not regret, b'cos it was my relationship, and I did my best. But now, I wanna live better. No more tears, more happiness.

Thanks for the good time. We ended on our 7th month exactly. I guess it's counted as a beautiful ending to this love story.

Living in de crazy, messy World

At first I was happy being back. Afterall, I do miss them. All the laughters and silly fun was long missed by me. So I was glad and I treasure it.

But I was just a fool I guess.

Why can't I ever learn not to trust so easily? When will I learn to be fake like others?

Maybe I can't. I am just me. When I take you as a friend, I really do mean it.

Heck. Now, I think, if I am not appreciated, then FORGET IT.

I don't need that. I need people who loves me, who treasure and care. And I have got them.

Friendship should be the pillar you can lean on when things go wrong, when relationship goes wrong, when work goes wrong. It should be the stable thing.

But to some, maybe friendship can just keep changing, anything unhappy don't say, just form their own small little group. Just be happy and don't care bout others' feelings. One group become two. That's called friends?

I am fair, but sadly, the world is not.

Tired~ Physically, mentally.

I love my Boy~~

Thank you, boy boy, for being there...

Today was a happy day. Last night we went to play Majiong at Shi feng hostel at NTU with William, Zhi Hui, and us. I was the one who suggest playing majiong last week but ended up yesterday I was very tired. Till to I was so tired, I didn't really feel like playing. But I wanted to catch up with them cos' it had been quite long since we last met up plus the fact that I was the one who plan the 'outing'. Well, and thanks to William, though I doubt you will actually read this... Lol... Thanks cos' he was the one who help me to organise eveything and ask everyone... and somemore I was still late and let him wait so long... Haha..

When we were at NTU I was really damn shack. So tired... Boy boy help me to play first although he was also very tired... hehe =) Who knows ended up he played most of the game and I only played 2, 3 times... He keep asking me to play but I too lazy... So ended up he have to play. It might not seems like a big deal, but those who know him will know he has a very low tolerence level for tiredness and last night not only was he understanding he was also super sweet to me the whole night... Cooking noodles for me and giving me massage and his attitude was really sweet... =] Happi Happi~~

Then this afternoon I said will give him morning call cos' he still got work but I overslept. He managed to wake up himself and even send me a cute sms... And I slept all the way till 4pm!! Even when he called me at 1pm said wanna see me cos' too miss me, I din want to get up... Hehe... sorri boy... Also miss you even when I sleeping... But I miss my beauty sleep alot too... haha...

But after I woke up we went out to have our 'er ren shi jie'. He brought me to have japanese food at this restaurant call Aji tei Japanese Food and Dessert Bar. We ate till super full. It was great. We laughed and joke all the way. And he gave in to me in every possible way... I felt like a princess!

We went boat quay to with Ken and Rofino after that. At first it was a bit boring and I thought my boy has to go work cos' he bluff to me. Then he suddenly reappeared and hugged me from behind. Silly boy... :p

Then he complained of headache and took a nap at the pub. It was more like a sleep. Haha.... I left him to it cos' I think I should be understanding too. But it got a little boring cos' we were not playing anything and nobody was entertaining me. It was just a relaxing only night I guess. I didn't want to drink much so that adds to the 'sian-ness'.

When it came my turn to sing with boy, he was still asleep. I wake him up and he sang till like fall asleep. I got pissed off cos' that song was he wanted to sing with me one. I tried to control my anger and didn't say much. But after that when I tried to talk to him, he seemed to ignoring me and I tap him to get his attention. God knows why he thought that I was hitting him and he showed me an attitude. We had a quarrel. Quite a fierce one. I walk off and wanted to take my things from his lorry and go home. He didn't even come after me or call me. I was really upset. Then he reach his lorry first and he took my things to the pub. He called me then and said since I wanted to leave without him he will leave now. I got so upset and I told him if he does that he should know what it means to me. I will never forgive him for that. He didn't seem to be remorseful at all! All he said was he will not leave actually but he will wait in his lorry for me to finish drinking at the pub.

But how will I have the mood to continue my night playing and enjoying? I decided that at that time if he wanted to do that then I will go back to the pub for my friends, but in my heart I will always think that he doesn't care about me. And our relationship will be spoiled.

However, not long after we hang up our phone call, he called me back. He wanted to come and find me. I was still at a carpark talking with Rofino then.

When I saw him I was still upset and angry. But he apolgised so many times to me. And he looked like he really knows his fault and was sincere. I am not a petty person too. Of course it took me a while to really cool down but I appreciate his understanding and love for me. Although he is always a little slow in making things right, but he is better than alot of other guys I have ever seen. Alot of people when they are also angry, will take ages to stand in the other person shoes. It hard for me even.

We are ok now. And I still feel very much surrounded with love. Its the small things that counts sometimes. The way we talk, the way he looks at me. All that matters. That is LOVE.

Now we playing Majiong with Ken, Rofino, Nun Jun. Seeing Nun jun I am very happy. And a part of me will always hold him dear to my heart. And I really like him. He makes me happy and laugh... Haha... Good to see him carefree and happy...

I am happy. Thank you all friends. Thank you Boy boy.

I wanna hug all of you!!

The Rabbit and the Tortoise

Slow and steady wins the race...Or
Early bird gets the worm?

Just question to ponder for you to ponder =)

Its worrying for me to think of the way the world works is by being slow and steady instead of staying ahead and being consistent. We are in a fast pace society, especially in Spore, whereby you cannot afford to be slow. Everyone is moving all the time! Nobody waits for you. And time is money.

Recently I have learnt to understand this point even more. I am so busy in work these 2 weeks! Right after I post the previous entry saying I wanna restart my blog, I got this job offer which I decided to try. Now 2 weeks later, I passed the trial and am offically a staff in Prudential. But this time round not as an adviser, but as the HR operations, also like a PA.

It is a super busy job. But strangely, I never feel like skipping work for a single day. When one of the days I was late and was so scare, I had no choice but to take MC. Then I felt damn 'sian' and bad. This is the first time I took MC and I don't feel happy. Last time I always felt "well, can have one day off to go out have fun and relax, so good...". But that day I keep thinking what will happen to the job when I not around, and will I miss out learning some things and will it somehow minus 'points' of me. But lucky, everything turn out fine after that, and manager thinks that I am doing rather well. HAha...

And I have really been very busy. Straight 3 nights of OT this week, and 2 days last week. Somemore still happen to have event at SMU, which is even more tiring. I saw Carin! Wen wei GF there! She is getting more n more pretty! LOL...

Now I felt life is fulfilling. I like being busy and feeling fulfill and useful. Although it is really tiring and sometimes I can feel my body giving way. I fell sick already, and last week almost fever but I took penadol myself. No time to see doctor and cannot afford to take MC. We are too busy.

And sadly, friends, people, I have not been spending time with you guys. Really miss you all! All of you!! But I really hope to do well in this job and not give up halfway again. I know you guys will supoport me right? Hee... But I believe I will do my best and try not to make any mistake, and that is what it means by giving your best! I guess my main problem is staying this way, feeling this way for long long long~~~

Lets all pray for me -_- I will make it! Be fast and consistent!

The creator of Life.

Serenity. The state of my heart now. Happy as the wind. Freed from restrictions.

Hello all! My blog is in operation again!

Haha :) I am back and really free now to update things! So so so sorri for some friends whom I have not update Life with for this while... :(

Taking a rest, getting my thoughts sort out is what I've been busy with these 2 weeks, after I quit the Prison job. Yesh... I quitted! It was a worth while n good experience, but... no, it's not for me in the long run. I don't get ruled, I rule. :pp

I miss the old days, with my 2 buddies(you know who you are), with aiai, with everyone else. Although too many things had happened and alot had been changed I believe once friends always friends. Let bygones be bygones. :) We've grow and learn, isn't it?

"If you believe the sky is blue and cloudy, and heaven do exist... you know many things are pre-plan long before we were born. To hold too tight is making destiny your control. In which you know, impossible isn't it?" ;)

++PrincessRon++

fearless, courageous, passionate, proud, pampered

World's Quarrelsome Day

Yesterday was hell of a day.

Had a Sentosa outing with group of my buddies. And when we just reached we decided to play a bit of basketball. While playing me and JF got rough, and I got really pissed. So I decide to have my sweet revenge. And everyone who knows me knows that when I get mad, trust me, you don't want to be there. Eventually I must have been real rough and he must have been real petty, so we almost fight. Well I weren't the slightest afraid but Jac stop us. Dare he really do it? I will have love to dare him again. Then after a few min of anger, he packed all his stuff and disappear for the whole of yesterday.

After that I was in bad mood but not for long. Cos we met this group of guys who came to play basketball with us,, and we even play some Dares. They were funny. Makes me laugh. And at the end of Sentosa we were already friends, sort of.

Then it comes Jac and W's turn. Both in 'black' face. Not talking and the heaviness is obvious. After playing middle man, things didn't get better at all. At first both were angry, then one was sorry but the other was still piss, then after talking, one got very sad and the other got very guilty. Sigh....... I have no idea what to say.

And worse of all we had to wait for R for one whole hour. Damn. What a night. And guess what? Another hell broke loose. R had a quarrel with the sis at home. And from what I kind of know, talking to her when she is upset bout anything at all, will never help. And so, one more unhappy person.

And today while I was walking back to my house with R, the funniest thing happened. We walked past a stranger talking on his mobile, and we heard " so yesterday you 2 quarrel ah?"

WAhaha~~~

I almost burst out laughing. So I conclude, yesterday was definately World's Quarrelsome Day. Yey, we should have celebrated it, isn't it? Haha.

Its a Girl Thing.

To all that has been reading my blog, must have realised that I have been slow in blogging. Reason is life is always busy and complicated. That's why blogging took a back seat.

There has been alot of changes in my life these 2 months. Other than the usual BGR crap, i have been seriously thinking bout what to do with my life. Has been doing some sort of writing stuff, becoming a tutor, and applying for an unexpected passion- being a prison warrant.

Many has been shocked by my decision. Well, I have just found out somethings bout myself too... Most of the things that I really want is not known by some closest to me, and the fact that actually I am very serious when it come to some of my principles and seeking the life I want, to the extent I am not like the usual happy go lucky girl most people see.

And I am not ready to compromise.

I say this stuff mainly points to the direction I am about to take. First is, I am going to forgo the leisure time with friends that I treasure. For the job that I really want and that I know will change my life. The risk is I might lose somethings that i have now. And I might become so different that only those who really love me will stay. Well of cos, everything will only happen if I am accepted... which i pray everyday I will.

The second reason is because of the guys who proclaim to be madly in love with me. I might be so fun loving and crazily enjoying when hanging out, but I am not easy. As in easy to win over. I just gone through a not so easy time, and in the process lose the one guy I think is really suitable for me. So if I were to start a new relationship, the guy will have to be better than my previous, which is not easy. And it's a Must. Words might make me smile but you guys have no idea what I really think. The kind of life I want, if you cant provide then all the talks about feelings is just bullshit to me. Stop wasting my life and yours.

As a modern girl who I self proclaim to be trendy and classy, the material needs are necessary. Not something that can forgo, not even in the name of love. Esp not for love. Cos my principle is if you love a girl, pls know what makes her happy. Do what you can in your abilities to give her everything she wants. Girls are borned on this earth to be doted on. In return we can be the sweet and loving creature that brings all the joys to the guy who make us willingly love him all out. But before we can pls know that you have to prove it, and not just that, maintain it. And the thing is pls don't give excuses when you have not done enough for the girl. we can smell excuses and fake stuffs a thousand miles away.

Now I know all the girls reading this are silently agreeing and thinking why I can say all these so straight forwardly, not worried that others might think of me as materialistic. Well people say what they want to. But we only have one life so we should live the best life. Why give discount? And one important thing that I know nobody have told you girls, Materialistic is a word invented to give guys reason not to be generous and not to be as good as they should. It is simply an excuse.

Now I know guys out there reading these are properly cursing me right now. Sorry guys, all I can say is welcome to the modern world. If you guys want a weakling and a softie who listens to you and don't fight for her life, don't look for Singapore girls. Go somehere else.

Life is sweet but it's a battle after all.

Tomorrow holds the Answer

Life is ever changing... And mine have just taken a 180 turn...

Me and Nun Jun broke up. Almost a month. It took me so long to accept it, and weeks to recover... He was everything, but I realised it too late.

We shared a lot, went through a lot... And I still wish we can go back... But I've learned... In this world, wishing is just wishing... not all wishes come true... I miss him, miss our past... But I cant do anything... I have to take care of myself... and I have to try be happy no matter wat...

Dear, you are everything I have ever wanted in a guy... maybe minus the career and money... but I knew all along one day you will have those... and all the while you have shown me... you are everything i wanted in a partner... and our kind of relationship... was so hard to get... was what will have work for me... was supposed to be happiness... but i walked the wrong route... and I hurt you again and again... Sorry... Really sorry... from the bottom of my heart... If one day you find out you can love me again pls let me know... I hopw with all my heart by that time... its not too late... cos I dunno what my life will changed into... dunno what life will brings me... and for now... such a long period that you will not be around anymore.... or maybe even forever... I have to go on with my life... I have feelings... and I cant cry everyday for you anymore... although sometimes seeing our pictures, think of our past... i still shed some tears... but I need to try be happy...

dear... I hope time wun play a trick on us... I dunno if we are meant for each other... but until now... you are the one I love the most....

For now dear... I am trying to go on with life happily, with all the people and support I need... everything changed... and I need everyone alot now... hope you can at least not avoid me... if not I may feel that for your sake I need to leave the group... I dun wan you to lose your friends company....

Just remember I do love you... And Thanks for the time together...

For better and for woes

Support is really important in a relationship and in a friendship... Without support, what good is the realtionship or friendship?

Recently I have realised that sometimes the things I care about most is also the thing that weights me down, that bothers me... If I can't get support from the people I care so much, then tell me where do I get support from?

Feels suffocated. A need to simply get away sometimes... a need for some people to just be there... a need for people to understand me...

Sigh...

Anyway, surprisingly, I changed jobs again. Got a job in an advertising campaign company, doing the ideas and promotions for major clients.... yup yup... interesting and cool...

Well bye to my stupid lady boss! And hopefully the new company and people will be much better!

Granton here I come!