Dishearten

Funny how life is.

Things just can't be perfect. Just when I thought I could be happy, I realised maybe I was just a fool.

We were not meant to be. But I keep wishing things can change. I keep thinking our love is worth it. Keep thinking he loves me.

I really make effort. He also said he did. And we both say we love each other alot. If all these is true then what is the problem? Why we just can't be happy?

I can't bring myself to put it down. Can't say it out and a part of me really don't want to end it. But yet I don't feel "xin fu".

Not that I want to compare. But I still can remember my last relationship. We also quarrelled a lot. But now I think back, I was so "xin fu". Even crying and arrguing is worth it.

But now? I don't know. But maybe it's not up to me to decide, cos' I can't. I know if I say break, I will look back when I alone and I feel I have no one there for me. I don't want that. But if I make him say it, it will break my heart. I don't know if I can take it.

Maybe one mistake really can change a person's life. Maybe I should just let my heart be broken, and just endure the pain. Anyway, I have been so painful once before too.

I also don't know how to really be happy like before. God help me.