Lay on You

Later tonight should be busy and late night. Thinking of meeting up with friends after my dinner with my colleagues. It's for my manager's birthday. Glad that I'm invited... But feels stressed. Cos' I have not really been working recently, don't know how to face them. Wish that later I can go meet Wen Wei and hopefully Jian Feng. At least take my mind off things I don't wanna think.

Haha, sometimes they are like my 避难所。

This week I think at least I will have my dear dear to accompany me. He got alot of days don't need go camp. Really miss him.

Just now talked to Xu Yong in msn. He saw me online and came to talk. Honestly I'm glad to talk to him. Like talking to a long lost friend. But sometimes I have to be careful, there is afterall, a line I can't step over. We talked about casual stuff... then he talk bout the past. Ask me if I sometimes think of it...

What you want me to say? We gave it all up, you are married, and I've got a loving boyfriend.

Sometimes memories never leave, I believe. But one can choose what to do with the memory. Just a bitter sweet memory, a story.

During the conversation, I don't know why I told him so straight forwardly that I wish his marriage will be a very happy one. Ha... I think I must have sound really silly. I keep telling him the future he must be happy. Haha... I really sound silly...

Will I miss JF alot from today? I wish not. I know he is going to working and working and working... I don't know why it makes me feel angry... Haha... Somehow I don't like it.

让你掏醉在我的眼神，看着我，走进我的世界。

我的喜怒哀乐，

我的眼泪微笑，

都是你的责任，

让你从现在起把我当成一切， 疼爱我， 永远实现我的心愿。

Visions of Mine

~Enmeshed in the fake world of reality~

Awaken from a bad dream.

Last couple of days clear my mind a little.

绕了一圈, 我们还是做回好朋友。

好多天的不愉快，我的固执，要他放弃。那天在Wen Wei 家打完麻漿后，他还在楼下。之前我们吵了又吵，我真的很累。上他的车原本是想回家休息的，到最后却去了东海岸。

结果他让我答应原谅他，我们的确变的和以前一样有说有笑。我只希望他会做到他说的，希望真的会开心。

What is reality?

Everyone's reality exist in their own mind. What I see as truth may not be what you see.

Only can follow and believe one's own reality.

My reality now is my relationship with Nun Jun is great, my friendship(or whatever u call it) with Jian Feng is ok le, the big problem now I have is my career. Full of uncertainty.

What do I do to be really happy without depending on anyone?

最大的寂寞是当发现，连想也不敢想自己心中的他！

The past only exist in the Past

Couldn't care less!

I just wanna be happy, enjoy myself.

Don't wanna bother about him(JF) anymore! To him, he put in alot. I also know. BUT, I feel I already tolerate way too much. Sorry, but I am frustrated. Very frustrated.

"Let the past be the past. From now on I'm myself!"

Sigh... To those who are reading this... Maybe many things I didn't explain and so its confusing. Put it simply, I'm talking about Jian Feng. Ya, many knows he likes me, but nt many know the story between us. Well, I shall not go into details here. Anyway, appreciated the good, but many things happen and I think its getting too tiring for both of us. Tats all...

Just came back from playing majiong game at Weiling house... Never expect her husband to be Xu Yong... Again, not convenient to say here, but its a shock... Like something from the past coincides with my present. The world is small.

Sometimes I feel bad... Got a feeling Weiling takes me as a friend, and somehow a listening ear. She told me lots of stuff about her and Xu Yong. Sometimes I really don't want know so much... yet I do wish that they can have a happy marriage. I just wanna be a friend to her too. And I wish he find his Happiness too.

Sigh... lots of feelings recently. I know some friends really care... Don't worry, I'm fine. Struggling, but trying. Just like yesterday I got Rofino's sms asking me if I'm fine. Well, really thanks for the concern :)

Tired le... gotta rest...

LOVE MAJIONG~ Hehe~

Put down thy Masque

I AM DOWN.

Seriouosly never been this down. Scared myself, the flooding emotions I can't control.

蹦溃的感觉是不是就像这样？

Feel like sleeping every min, escape from everything. Lost, I don't know what to do with all my troubles... Don't want friends or family to know and worry. But I really need a place to express! My life is crashing!

我要快了不想长大如果有一天我可以解脱回到过去重来遗失的美好。

~黑暗之魔~

沉醉在黑暗中

觉的累，觉的慌

徘徊在人群中

好彷徨，好孤单

过去常在脑海里旋转

成经的简单幸福

是现在的痛苦与悲伤

好想逃离这一切

又有谁能了解我的内心世界？

“ 每一张笑脸背后都有一张哭泣的脸，

每一个大声说话的人背后都有难言的心声。”

Happy Anniversary!

Together ever since then, 3rd Jan 2005.

Our anniversary! Exactly 2yrs and 8mths already!

Look, both of us look so different! Much cuter last time...

Haha... But now more ladylike and more Man for him!

Time flies~ I'm so happy that our relationship lasts so long. I know if it continues, most properly he will be my future half. In so many ways, he is great. Totally nice. Unselfish, easy going, nice temper, dotes on me, humorous, sporty, adventurous, fun loving and generous. But, I'm worried. Do I really want to be so fixed to a guy right now? Will he be able to fulfill the material needs of mine in future. I know the kind of life I'm going after, and I don't want to short change myself. I am willing to comprise but the difference of my ideal and what I get can't be so big right?

Must have faith! Ya, I must believe in him. I am going to keep thinking this way. Because we are young, and he is a crazily smart guy! :p

是你让我相信爱情是无私，好无压力的。。。

不管发生任何事你总是让我开心让我笑, 谢谢!

Crazy Birthday

Forgot to upload these photos... 20th Aug, my birthday!

Behold and Unfold

~TIRING~

Actual Date: 01/09/07 4.30AM

Just came from from movies at cineleisure, with Wen Wei, Roy, his female friend, Nun Jun(dear dear :p)... and Jian Feng... We watched 1408, supposed to be horror but as usual.... we laughed our heads off... HAHA...

我们又没结束了... HAHA... 说了也奇怪, 从来没开始,又怎么结束?

He salvaged the situation once again. I was cooled down, and accepted his explaination n appolgy. Was it a right thing I wonder. But thanks boy, for always giving in. But disagreements gets tiring, and my tolerance is running out, I hope there won't even be a need for u to appolgise...

伤心的转弯是开心!我要快乐!

Today one happy thing happened. I get to see my dear dear finally! Seeing him always calms me down despite whatever mood I'm in. Thanks for understanding everything. Although being with me has always been a complicated ride, but I'm sure you know that both me and him knows that YOU are the one.

我知道现在为最爱是你, 可是我不能不在乎其他关心我的人.

Love you love you love you dear dear...

I love my shopping spree just now! Shopping is my greatest joy!