Dishearten

Funny how life is.

Things just can't be perfect. Just when I thought I could be happy, I realised maybe I was just a fool.

We were not meant to be. But I keep wishing things can change. I keep thinking our love is worth it. Keep thinking he loves me.

I really make effort. He also said he did. And we both say we love each other alot. If all these is true then what is the problem? Why we just can't be happy?

I can't bring myself to put it down. Can't say it out and a part of me really don't want to end it. But yet I don't feel "xin fu".

Not that I want to compare. But I still can remember my last relationship. We also quarrelled a lot. But now I think back, I was so "xin fu". Even crying and arrguing is worth it.

But now? I don't know. But maybe it's not up to me to decide, cos' I can't. I know if I say break, I will look back when I alone and I feel I have no one there for me. I don't want that. But if I make him say it, it will break my heart. I don't know if I can take it.

Maybe one mistake really can change a person's life. Maybe I should just let my heart be broken, and just endure the pain. Anyway, I have been so painful once before too.

I also don't know how to really be happy like before. God help me.

ChiwaWa!

Yesterday after work went to meet Ken, Nun Jun, Crystal, Jun Xiong, Huili, Abel, Yuan Da, Charmine... but b'cos something happened to my colleague so I accompany her first... by the time I reached they bout to finish eating le... well, I told them to not wait actually... haha =)

Then we went to watch Chiwawa. But not all of us went... only Ken, NJ, Crystal, JX, Me and Jian feng.

Lucky we still managed to get the tickets for 9 plus show at Cineleisure... if not I think we won't be watching at all... lol..

It's a very nice show... haha... all of us was laughing so hard... well, I hope Mr K.. also la... cos' not really a show he wanna watch... But it turned out to be really nice right? hehe...

The chiwawa is really a princess lo... so "xin fu"... all branded stuff, and all the beauty treatments... even food also is high class one... haha... I was telling them yesterday... it's a dog's life and it's better than mine... haha...

But even a princess dog also has to go through hardships... and although there are always heros to the rescue... it's better to become strong itself... =D Just like me...

Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger! Still a princess though... LoL...

Later gonna end work lo... time flies recently... even working time... haha... maybe cos got Cydnia... haha... end work le go meet the guys and play bball... hopefully... wanna slim down!!

++PrincessRon++

Love U all~~

Friends~~

What a busy weekend!

I had a long weekend, cos was on Mcs for Mon and Tues. On Sunday night, went to Nun Jun sister's birthday bbq with Ken, Nun Jun, Huili, Rofino and Jian Feng. Well, was relaxing. Then after that they went to find Abel to 'sabo' him for his birthday, wherelse Nun jun, Jian Feng and me went to meet Crystal.

We spend one whole night talking at Amk MacDonalds. Haha... It was very fun just sitting there and talking about everything. We laughed and talked till we don't want go home, but the next day is Mon and Crystal and me got work. In the end we went to Nun Jun house ton and chat furthermore. Ken also at Nun Jun house but he was asleep when we reach there.

Next day all of us went to take Mcs together. Same clinic somemore. Lol =P but sadly Crystal has to go work cannot take mc like us.

We were crazy that day! Went to play basketball when we are so tired, and only got Huili, Ken, Nun Jun and me only! Hahaha... funny thing is got one group of little kids come and challenge us full court, and we actually played 2 games with them... Of cos we won lahz... haha... only 4 of us wor...

That's not all... At night still went to sing KTV at the 10dollars place. Wow.. We got the VIP room... It was huge! like a living room like that...

We also alot of people la( Huili, Ken, Nun Jun, Crystal, Applw, William, Yuan Da, Charmine, Abel and me), that's why they gave us such a big room... Even Bear also came! haha... Only Rofi didn't join =(

All in all, it was a nice day! I went home super tired though. Haha.

I can't Forget (part 2)

Still can't forget you

You have never left

I kidded myself, saying

we're only friends.

My tears finally flow

No more excuses can I give

It's more than guilt

a mixture of all feelings.

I have no right

and I never intend to fight

for I threw it away once ago

now I just want you happy

But when we talk and what we say

I can't control, no more

I'm going to suffocate

no place for the real

Your biggest regret, you said

was letting her go

Little do you know, that mine

was not holding you tight

When I cried, you don't even know

in your mind, I am not there

I wish you happiness

but I cant help feeling hurt.

Have to forget you, I do

Stop the feeling which I can't describe

Forget the past

start anew,

I try.

Nice right, this poem? I love it. Sigh...

Don't ask me why all these...

I can't Forget

Alright... we did not break up.

I really thought it was that way and I was so prepared to try my singlehood once again... =D haha... He(together with Crystal n Jun Xiong) gave me a surprise yesterday evening. I was with my colleague, Cyndia, at Cafe Cartell waiting for Crystal cos' we arranged to meet up after my work. Me and Cyndia talk bout' many things... It was enjoyable talking to a female Leo again... haha...

Anyway Crystal and Jun Xiong reached 1 hr later!! Then they suggested to sit outside instead. I find it weird cos it was raining slightly, but I just put it that Crystal might want to smoke. We sat outside and very funny, we didn't order anything else except my that glass of Blue Coral. But I thought maybe we were waiting for Yuan Da cos' he's joining us too.

Suddenly someone hugged me from the back, and give me a Bikini Pig. -_-!!

Who else but Jian Feng.... He appolgised to me but I give him one face and make it hard for him... Haha... purposely... Then the rest(Cyndia, Yuan Da, Jun xiong and Crystal) were all telling him what to say to make me laugh... It's so funny... Like those Tv shows like that... When he finally managed to make me smile everyone clapped...

Okie... I was still a bit mad at him... But it was sweet for him to do that... And that Piggy is so damn cute!! I really like it =) hugged it to sleep last night... just imagine a pig wear bikini? wahaha!!

Then we went eat parklane wanton wee, nothing much. But what I remember is we got struck with the rain and cannot leave. Haha. Well, overall a happy evening. Everyone was happy.

Crystal even text me a sweet sms at night. Heh... same to you, girl.

Too bad no photos man....

It's Over

Recently I must be down on my luck...

Me and Jian Feng is over. I don't know how to say what happened. But it's over. If he doesn't care for me or the relationship, then I will not care from now on.

The past is full of sweet and bitter. I have shed so much tears. I will not regret, b'cos it was my relationship, and I did my best. But now, I wanna live better. No more tears, more happiness.

Thanks for the good time. We ended on our 7th month exactly. I guess it's counted as a beautiful ending to this love story.

Living in de crazy, messy World

At first I was happy being back. Afterall, I do miss them. All the laughters and silly fun was long missed by me. So I was glad and I treasure it.

But I was just a fool I guess.

Why can't I ever learn not to trust so easily? When will I learn to be fake like others?

Maybe I can't. I am just me. When I take you as a friend, I really do mean it.

Heck. Now, I think, if I am not appreciated, then FORGET IT.

I don't need that. I need people who loves me, who treasure and care. And I have got them.

Friendship should be the pillar you can lean on when things go wrong, when relationship goes wrong, when work goes wrong. It should be the stable thing.

But to some, maybe friendship can just keep changing, anything unhappy don't say, just form their own small little group. Just be happy and don't care bout others' feelings. One group become two. That's called friends?

I am fair, but sadly, the world is not.

Tired~ Physically, mentally.