World's Quarrelsome Day

Yesterday was hell of a day.

Had a Sentosa outing with group of my buddies. And when we just reached we decided to play a bit of basketball. While playing me and JF got rough, and I got really pissed. So I decide to have my sweet revenge. And everyone who knows me knows that when I get mad, trust me, you don't want to be there. Eventually I must have been real rough and he must have been real petty, so we almost fight. Well I weren't the slightest afraid but Jac stop us. Dare he really do it? I will have love to dare him again. Then after a few min of anger, he packed all his stuff and disappear for the whole of yesterday.

After that I was in bad mood but not for long. Cos we met this group of guys who came to play basketball with us,, and we even play some Dares. They were funny. Makes me laugh. And at the end of Sentosa we were already friends, sort of.

Then it comes Jac and W's turn. Both in 'black' face. Not talking and the heaviness is obvious. After playing middle man, things didn't get better at all. At first both were angry, then one was sorry but the other was still piss, then after talking, one got very sad and the other got very guilty. Sigh....... I have no idea what to say.

And worse of all we had to wait for R for one whole hour. Damn. What a night. And guess what? Another hell broke loose. R had a quarrel with the sis at home. And from what I kind of know, talking to her when she is upset bout anything at all, will never help. And so, one more unhappy person.

And today while I was walking back to my house with R, the funniest thing happened. We walked past a stranger talking on his mobile, and we heard " so yesterday you 2 quarrel ah?"

WAhaha~~~

I almost burst out laughing. So I conclude, yesterday was definately World's Quarrelsome Day. Yey, we should have celebrated it, isn't it? Haha.

Its a Girl Thing.

To all that has been reading my blog, must have realised that I have been slow in blogging. Reason is life is always busy and complicated. That's why blogging took a back seat.

There has been alot of changes in my life these 2 months. Other than the usual BGR crap, i have been seriously thinking bout what to do with my life. Has been doing some sort of writing stuff, becoming a tutor, and applying for an unexpected passion- being a prison warrant.

Many has been shocked by my decision. Well, I have just found out somethings bout myself too... Most of the things that I really want is not known by some closest to me, and the fact that actually I am very serious when it come to some of my principles and seeking the life I want, to the extent I am not like the usual happy go lucky girl most people see.

And I am not ready to compromise.

I say this stuff mainly points to the direction I am about to take. First is, I am going to forgo the leisure time with friends that I treasure. For the job that I really want and that I know will change my life. The risk is I might lose somethings that i have now. And I might become so different that only those who really love me will stay. Well of cos, everything will only happen if I am accepted... which i pray everyday I will.

The second reason is because of the guys who proclaim to be madly in love with me. I might be so fun loving and crazily enjoying when hanging out, but I am not easy. As in easy to win over. I just gone through a not so easy time, and in the process lose the one guy I think is really suitable for me. So if I were to start a new relationship, the guy will have to be better than my previous, which is not easy. And it's a Must. Words might make me smile but you guys have no idea what I really think. The kind of life I want, if you cant provide then all the talks about feelings is just bullshit to me. Stop wasting my life and yours.

As a modern girl who I self proclaim to be trendy and classy, the material needs are necessary. Not something that can forgo, not even in the name of love. Esp not for love. Cos my principle is if you love a girl, pls know what makes her happy. Do what you can in your abilities to give her everything she wants. Girls are borned on this earth to be doted on. In return we can be the sweet and loving creature that brings all the joys to the guy who make us willingly love him all out. But before we can pls know that you have to prove it, and not just that, maintain it. And the thing is pls don't give excuses when you have not done enough for the girl. we can smell excuses and fake stuffs a thousand miles away.

Now I know all the girls reading this are silently agreeing and thinking why I can say all these so straight forwardly, not worried that others might think of me as materialistic. Well people say what they want to. But we only have one life so we should live the best life. Why give discount? And one important thing that I know nobody have told you girls, Materialistic is a word invented to give guys reason not to be generous and not to be as good as they should. It is simply an excuse.

Now I know guys out there reading these are properly cursing me right now. Sorry guys, all I can say is welcome to the modern world. If you guys want a weakling and a softie who listens to you and don't fight for her life, don't look for Singapore girls. Go somehere else.

Life is sweet but it's a battle after all.

Tomorrow holds the Answer

Life is ever changing... And mine have just taken a 180 turn...

Me and Nun Jun broke up. Almost a month. It took me so long to accept it, and weeks to recover... He was everything, but I realised it too late.

We shared a lot, went through a lot... And I still wish we can go back... But I've learned... In this world, wishing is just wishing... not all wishes come true... I miss him, miss our past... But I cant do anything... I have to take care of myself... and I have to try be happy no matter wat...

Dear, you are everything I have ever wanted in a guy... maybe minus the career and money... but I knew all along one day you will have those... and all the while you have shown me... you are everything i wanted in a partner... and our kind of relationship... was so hard to get... was what will have work for me... was supposed to be happiness... but i walked the wrong route... and I hurt you again and again... Sorry... Really sorry... from the bottom of my heart... If one day you find out you can love me again pls let me know... I hopw with all my heart by that time... its not too late... cos I dunno what my life will changed into... dunno what life will brings me... and for now... such a long period that you will not be around anymore.... or maybe even forever... I have to go on with my life... I have feelings... and I cant cry everyday for you anymore... although sometimes seeing our pictures, think of our past... i still shed some tears... but I need to try be happy...

dear... I hope time wun play a trick on us... I dunno if we are meant for each other... but until now... you are the one I love the most....

For now dear... I am trying to go on with life happily, with all the people and support I need... everything changed... and I need everyone alot now... hope you can at least not avoid me... if not I may feel that for your sake I need to leave the group... I dun wan you to lose your friends company....

Just remember I do love you... And Thanks for the time together...

For better and for woes

Support is really important in a relationship and in a friendship... Without support, what good is the realtionship or friendship?

Recently I have realised that sometimes the things I care about most is also the thing that weights me down, that bothers me... If I can't get support from the people I care so much, then tell me where do I get support from?

Feels suffocated. A need to simply get away sometimes... a need for some people to just be there... a need for people to understand me...

Sigh...

Anyway, surprisingly, I changed jobs again. Got a job in an advertising campaign company, doing the ideas and promotions for major clients.... yup yup... interesting and cool...

Well bye to my stupid lady boss! And hopefully the new company and people will be much better!

Granton here I come!

Too Much Stuff!

Been working at Metakaos for 3 weeks... I had thought I will be happy... But right now its just stress and disappointed... My abilities were not recognised and no chances to perform... and worst of all, keep getting pick on by my lady boss...

She's a leo... so what do you think? Just like me, egoistic and stubborn.

Maybe she is jealous... Haha... Even when I look pretty in new clothes she has things to say... wearing a dress that is stylish and just 3cm above knee can let her say we are not here to sell ourself... OMG... Is she from the 60s?

And last night quarrel with dear... which makes me think of JF... Dunno how to say... but last time at least feels that things will be fine with him around...

Finally decided to tell him how i fell using friendster message... this is how it goes...

Boy...

I dunno if my reply is too late... but its because I dun have the courage to tell you how I really feel until now...

I dun even check my friendster... everyday I keep myself busy with work, with friends... everyday I just sleep 3 or 4 hrs then go work... So that I dun have time to think...

I tell myself I must be strong and do what i think is the best for both of us... I tell myself if me and you are meant to be together... oneday we will... or maybe i will really forget you and you will find another girl you really love... everyone will be happier... so I just have to be strong and have faith in things...

But do you know it is so hard? Actually I am very stress and sad at work... Everyday I get scold and people back stab me... and my boss pick on my everything... I everyday do so much and ot but all I get back is that... almost everyday at work halfway i will want to sms you... to tell you how bad things are... and i wanted to just leave my workplace sometimes... but i stayed and endure... cos i promise you i will do well...

but i am sorry... i still haven really change my life... i still take cab and let ppl send... I am trying... but still not easy... but i will go work everyday no matter how stress or tired... and i really not late on days... when i din make it i din tell you cos i dun wan you to be disappointed or worried... sorry...

I really tot you are living a better life le... din expect you are actually unhappy... So many times I wanted to call you but i never is because I dun wan to spoil your life... because i know myself too well... I cant just be normal friends now... cos i will want you to care so much... i will want to lean on your shoulder... I dunno why I will like this... but you always make me feel i can depend on you... thats why i control myself and tell myself to forget it cos what right do i have?

But yesterday n now... I really cant control... I dunno what you can do for me... maybe you will think you are just a normal friend... but i just cant control... just feel a need to tell you things happen to me...

This is just half the whole message... anyway I have a bad feeling its too late... I hurt him too much...

Tml got to face work and the people there again... God bless me pls!!!

Moving On!

Lotsa things have happened, and it is actually better! :)





Private life aka my BGR stuff is really long winded, so I will skip it in this entry. Main thing I wanna say is, I'll be starting a new life. I'm starting work at an Art Gallery tomorrow!





Metakaos. That's the name of the company.





Here's a really cool picture of how the place look like...

I will be working here! :P

Life is gonna be busy... Gonna miss ASBLT people... Hope you guys miss me too... haha...

Gotta go shopping now... Ciao!

This is Life!

Life is complicated yet simple.

Some things can't escape, like work, money, friends and love.

Yet it's not as simple as just work, money, friends and love.

I feel stress, angry and frustrated recently... Easily annoyed, and upset. Had nightmares too often... and I don't know why.

Could it be work? Maybe but I am sure not totally. My mind is thinking alot, and these few weeks I have changed in certain ways. More sure of what I want, and despite the frustrations I felt at times, I feel strong and positive. I thank these to my colleagues and my job... It's pushing me to strive for better life and a better me.

I realised, love needs effort. No matter how stable, things gets cold or change on and off... Need to take a look at the relationship and make efforts... If it is love, it is worth it.

I realised also real love is unselfish.

Nun jun is unselfish. He does alot of things which maybe others can't understand, but I know it's to make me happy. It seems silly but actually it's b'cos he just want me to have what I want, what makes me happy. I'm really touched at times.

Jian feng at times is unselfish too. He does not want to eventually 'get' me, like what normal guys will want, But he just want to be by my side to care for me, to see me, to be my best friend... although he loves me, he just want me to be happy with the guy I love, which is not him.

What is it about me actually? Hahaha... sometimes really wonder... so many prettier gals out there... what makes them willing to be fools for me? :p

And tomorrow I going genting with JF...Hope it will be fun! Take the stress temporary off me pls!!

I will miss all my buddies, my gd friends... my dear dear... my aiai... must miss me wor! wait for me to be back on tues! Muack!