Too Much Stuff!

Been working at Metakaos for 3 weeks... I had thought I will be happy... But right now its just stress and disappointed... My abilities were not recognised and no chances to perform... and worst of all, keep getting pick on by my lady boss...

She's a leo... so what do you think? Just like me, egoistic and stubborn.

Maybe she is jealous... Haha... Even when I look pretty in new clothes she has things to say... wearing a dress that is stylish and just 3cm above knee can let her say we are not here to sell ourself... OMG... Is she from the 60s?

And last night quarrel with dear... which makes me think of JF... Dunno how to say... but last time at least feels that things will be fine with him around...

Finally decided to tell him how i fell using friendster message... this is how it goes...

Boy...

I dunno if my reply is too late... but its because I dun have the courage to tell you how I really feel until now...

I dun even check my friendster... everyday I keep myself busy with work, with friends... everyday I just sleep 3 or 4 hrs then go work... So that I dun have time to think...

I tell myself I must be strong and do what i think is the best for both of us... I tell myself if me and you are meant to be together... oneday we will... or maybe i will really forget you and you will find another girl you really love... everyone will be happier... so I just have to be strong and have faith in things...

But do you know it is so hard? Actually I am very stress and sad at work... Everyday I get scold and people back stab me... and my boss pick on my everything... I everyday do so much and ot but all I get back is that... almost everyday at work halfway i will want to sms you... to tell you how bad things are... and i wanted to just leave my workplace sometimes... but i stayed and endure... cos i promise you i will do well...

but i am sorry... i still haven really change my life... i still take cab and let ppl send... I am trying... but still not easy... but i will go work everyday no matter how stress or tired... and i really not late on days... when i din make it i din tell you cos i dun wan you to be disappointed or worried... sorry...

I really tot you are living a better life le... din expect you are actually unhappy... So many times I wanted to call you but i never is because I dun wan to spoil your life... because i know myself too well... I cant just be normal friends now... cos i will want you to care so much... i will want to lean on your shoulder... I dunno why I will like this... but you always make me feel i can depend on you... thats why i control myself and tell myself to forget it cos what right do i have?

But yesterday n now... I really cant control... I dunno what you can do for me... maybe you will think you are just a normal friend... but i just cant control... just feel a need to tell you things happen to me...

This is just half the whole message... anyway I have a bad feeling its too late... I hurt him too much...

Tml got to face work and the people there again... God bless me pls!!!